The Journey is over. Maggie has arrived!

Margrethe Jonni Westrum

Born on October 30th at 11:55 PM at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, 2009

7 pounds 5 ounces, 20.5 inches long.

This blog will now close. Thank you all for following, commenting and being part of our journey. Maggies new adventures can now be followed at "Maggies World".

http://maggiewestrumssworld.blogspot.com/2009/11/this-is-maggie.html

Milestones

You know how you have certain things that you will probably always remember? You know..your first kiss, what movie you saw without an adult or that time when you realized that your parents were people?

I had one of those moments today. We met with our pediatrician. Wonderful man. He was actually my OB's pediatrician and has been practicing medicine for incredible 45 years at UCLA. Dr Marshall Sachs. Voted best doctor in 2007 and 2008.

All that is fine and dandy - but the entire meeting, I could not get it out of my head that we were meeting with a doctor that was not for us. It wasn't about us at all. He had no interest in us. We only had one common interest, my daughter. It is now our responsibility as parents to take our daughter to see Doctor Sachs for check-ups and vaccinations.

Parents. Now that's a freaking milestone if I ever saw one.

IKEA

Yesterday we went to IKEA to pick up the last stuff we need for the nursery. Me now 4 weeks away from my due date, have to stop and rest every 5 minutes. So I sat down on a pile of rugs to take a breather while my husband came and brought me different kinds of rugs that we might pick for the little ones room.

So while I was sitting there, a lady came up to me and started talking. She told me about her kids, that she was also pregnant in October with all of them and then preceded to say:
"You know what I was doing when I went into labor? Shopping. Just like you are doing now. My boy came later that same night and he was 3 weeks early"

Then she went on her way. When my husband came back with another rug I told him the story.

He then said, OK lets go. And he gave me a ride on the cart. And then he told me to go sit down and wait for him while checking out. He also demanded that I stay put so he could go get the car. I was not allowed to carry the sheets I bought, even though he carried the curtain rods, the rugs, the changing table accessories and 10 other items with 2 hands.

When we came home, I was ordered to lay down on the couch while he made meatballs with gravy and potatoes.

Thank you dear crazy IKEA lady who spooked my man into doing exactly what I have been wanting him to do for the past 5 months. I owe you.

What the Whatta?

The nausea is back? And I've had contractions! I can't beleive that in just a few weeks, there will be a new human being in our house.

It's interesting how things happen in cycles. When someone leaves the table, someone new will join.

Good Night Sweet Girl - Rest in Peace

Bianca

September 1997 - October 6th, 2009

5 weeks to go

The baby showers are done. The nursery is almost done. My maternity leave negotiations are almost complete (which will be a blog entry in itself because it's so dumb). Next week I will be full term. Man oh man - I'm just waiting for labor.

Nesting

I am building a nest with leaves and branches for my offspring. I'm collecting cotton balls and tissue paper so it will be warm, cozy and safe for my chick. I keep a close watch on my nests surroundings, making sure no bad guys or sharp edges can come close. I built a lair that fosters development and growth. A refuge in a prepared position.

That and I bought this car seat and painted the changing table.

Being a big baby

Yesterday I had another one of those breakdowns where you're not really sure what's wrong, it just is.

The whole day was crap. I am growing out of my maternity clothes, so picking an outfit for work became a huge anxiety party. Because my outfit looked so bad, I didn't bother to really do my hair or make up. I went to work basically feeling like I was transparent, which I know I'm not since I've gained more than 40 pounds.

At work, everything just went further south. I took vacation on Friday and Monday, and the folks that were supposed to cover for me all somehow fell through, but they all sent messages about it when I had already left work on Friday which resulted in over 100 emails in my inbox unattended..Weird.

Then when I got home I was really looking forward to my water workout class so that I could get some relief for my back - but after I got in the car to go pick up my husband, I started feeling nauseous. When my husband got in the car and asked me about my day, all channels opened up. I just cried and cried and cried. But I couldn't explain why.

So he handled the situation which is why he really is the best husband a girl can ask for. He took me home. He helped me change into my pyjamas. He gave me my book. He went and bought me lemonade. And then he sat with me and we talked about everything that worries me, one at a time..which ranged from car seats to that I want to make a big batch of chili so I don't have to cook when the baby comes. And then I fell asleep and slept for 12 hours.

Am I a wreck for feeling this way? Can I have a baby if I am a big baby myself? Maybe my husband will be a better mama than I will? Or maybe, just maybe - the hormones are overflowing?

The perils of homebirthing

Saw this on the news this morning..I loved Rikki Lakes documentary "The business of being born" and I pass no judgement on the couples who choose to give birth at home. But in this particular case, wouldn't you think that the midwife should have called a hospital after 4 days of labor? Heartbreaking, just heartbreaking.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/32795933#32795933

Some things...

you just want to figure out for yourself.

I don't know if everyone understands that. I know I am supposed to be grateful for every tip I get regarding the baby, because I know that people have the best of intentions and only want what is best for you. Mommies who have already been through birthing have the experience, I get it. And they are probably right 99% of the time.

But maybe some mommies forget what it was like this close to the due date. How much time you spend reading books, browsing the Internet, watching the freak birthing shows on Discovery and listening to peoples advice. How scared you are in your anticipation of your little one's arrival. Scared that you won't do things right. That you'll drop the baby while bathing it or not feeding it enough or not playing with it enough or...or...

I read in a book last night that the most important part of becoming a parent is getting to know your baby. A baby is just like you and me, we have our own personality and our own quirks that we are born with. We are fussy, mellow, easy going, high maintenance and so on. So really, how can you already know what my baby needs and doesn't when even I haven't met her yet?

It's hard to ignore them, because you are already on the edge, with a huge ass and an equally large back ache. All I really want to do is scream at the top off my lungs "BACK THE F*** OFF".

But of course you can't to that. You just accept that that is how some people are and hopefully you have a friend to vent to. That is what happened to me this morning... and here is the reply she sent me.

"It's OK honey I understand. You should take a day off relax and grow that baby. Don't worry about anything because it will all be fine. The baby is not going to be an albino she is going to be beautiful and even if she does look like Tom's ugliest little cousin we will still love her. There is nothing to be scared of and stop reading all those damn books "

What a terrible place this world would be without friends.

Today it hit me

What if there is a minor difference between my kid and others? Not a huge one that would consume hers and ours existence with it's trials and heartbreaks like MS at the age of 10 or blindness, but rather a small one, one that won't inhibit her from doing everything that she wants and deserves - yet something about her that will make people treat her just a little bit different or look at her that extra time or worse - look away? Like albinism?

I can't stop thinking about it.  

30 weeks (31+4)

Roll over Pussycat!

Here are some updates on what it's like to be me in the 3rd trimester, going into my eighth months of pregnancy. I promised an update on food, which is mixed in there.

* Mobility: I can't get up without help. This means it is impossible to just sit on a chair and stand up directly from that position. You know how weird that is? I have to put my hands down on something for support, or if I am laying down (which I am contemplating stopping doing all together because of the pure hassle of getting up) I have to ROLL OVER on my side first like I am a walrus with poor eye sight or something.

* Peeing: Everyone knows that pregnant ladies have to go pee-pee alot. Here is an example of how often that is. I am at the office. I go to the bathroom. From the bathroom I head for the elevators to go down to the first floor to buy a snack. I am on the 5th floor. By the time I enter the lobby I have to tiddle again. No joke.

* Food: Surprisingly easy these days. I can't eat that much as apparently the baby is still pretty high up and squishing lungs, intestines and other fun internal organs together, making it hard to eat a big meal. This of course does not stop me from eating small meals like bacon, ice cream and candy. So yay!

* Sleep I: Awkward and different. Every sound wakes me up, even if it's just my dog turning in the other room. My husband makes alot of noises (breathes too loud and makes smacking sounds with his mouth) and it is driving me CRAZY! Today I told him I want a bigger bed, some nights I can't stand even laying next to him. It's terrible!

* Sleep II: Dreams. This is one I actually kind of like. It is common that preggos have vivid dreams, and for me this has proven to be true. I've had several dreams about giving birth to kittens. They were the most precious little things. Hannah and Annika were thir names!

The Visitors

This is where I will be giving birth. Our birthing classes at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center include a tour of Labor&Delivery and the Post-partum areas, which we took on Saturday.

The Labor&Delivery building is a beautiful structure overlooking the Hollywood sign and its green canyons and hills. The walls are decorated with art and photographs of its beneficiaries including actors, philantropists, artists and various people making a contribution in one way or another. The windows are big and the rooms are filled with that unmistakable light that is the California sunshine.

Like the first day of school, we were like kids ushered through the hallways with big eyes, trying to get a sense of direction and imagining what it will be like when it's our turn. "Maybe that will be our room?" "Look at that nurse, she doesn't look very nice, I hope she has the day off when we come" "Those are some good-looking sandwiches, I hope they will serve that on my day".

The air was filled with anticipation, and as we saw doctors briskly walking by with their Nike's and scrubs on, I quietly wished them good luck, wherever they were heading. I felt energized and happy that this place is where we will be welcoming our daughter into the world.

As our group was walking down the hallway, a door suddenly opened and out came a nurse pushing a little bed in front of her. In the bed was a tiny baby. A small human that just entered, all swaddled and wearing a little blue hat. The nurse walked right past us with the baby and we all let out a collective "aaaawwww". Our instructor said "yup, that's a new one" and we all giggled. As we past the room from which the nurse had come from, there was a transparent bucket right outside the door, sitting on a cart. It was filled with something bloody and big.

"And there's a placenta" our teacher said. I looked at my husband and saw that his face had turned white. I think his water broke.

The Life Aquatic

Here is a little testament to another change in my life. Pre pregnancy, I used to run several times a week. I'd also hike, do some yoga and lift weights, well, lift myself. Pretty active, but not over the top - just enough to stay in shape and keep my weight and health in check.

I've missed working out, and I mean the sweaty workout. I take walks, sure, but that never really comes close to that feeling of wave of endorfins afterwards. The one you crave.

I've gained alot of weight now, and I am starting to feel it in my back. I decided to start working out again, but this time - in water. I found a class at the public pool in my neighborhood and asked my husband if he would go with me. He reluctantly agreed after my "But it's for the baby and you have to support me" spiel which is the ace of spades in any pregnant relationship.

Wateraerobics is both how you imagine it and at the same time not. Yes, there are middleaged women in frilly bathingsuits and overexposed sun damage. But there are also folks there for rehabilitation, pregnancy or the social aspect - because it's very social. The class was an hour long using weights, doing crunches, jogging under water and various routines. There was a lady who sang out loud to every tune, especially the 80's disco tunes. Our instructor, Igor, was a guy in his 30's with tatoos and a big friendly smile. There were more importantly alot of laughs, conversation, helping and encouragement.

Afterwards, our bodies ached and we were giddy as children. There is no doubt in my mind anymore that our ancestry is aquatic and that we thrive in packs. It was the best workout I've ever had. And I think for my husband too. This morning he asked if we are going again tonight.

A Big Softy

6 1/2 months into my pregnancy I have become a huge softy. I know that I am a hormonal wreck and all, but seriously - these changes I am listing below better revert back after the baby arrives along with my belly button and buttox.

* Violence on TV. Not that I was ever a fan - but when I shut my eyes during "Wipeout" I feel it's gone beyond acceptable fear.

* Keith Urban for Petes sake! I've downloaded Keith Urban!

* I love a good crime story, or should I say "loved". I had a new crime/horror novel from one of my favorite authors (Ajvide Lindqvist) in preparation for the 15 hour plane ride to Europe. I had to put it down after reading things like "darkness", "disappeared" and "child" in the first chapter and bought the autobiography of Julia Childs at the airport book store instead.

* Don't talk to me about injustices against kids, animals, homeless people or any sort of beings that are vulnerable. It makes me stop listening and go "lalalalala"

* Conversations about fashion, make up or hair. Frankly - I don't care right now.

Vacation...

is wonderful. Being around family again. Lazy days (today I read and was invited for coffee, that's about it). Baby Lion is kicking and I'm growing...Updates will follow when I am back in the real world again.

Beach Goers beware

Me and my husband joke alot about my growing frame these days. In the beginning of my pregnancy it was quite annoying, but what else are you supposed to do but laugh at it? He is not mean or anything - it's just that I look very different and the change is rather remarkable.

Yesterday we decided to go to the beach. The Pacific Ocean has finally started to warm up and as I am sweating for Queen and country - I had been looking forward to a jump in the cool waves of southern California.

I have a new maternity bathing suit that I finally got to put on. The back is open and has an expandable strap across the back to accommodate the belly. The top part is halterneck style, orange and white in a checkered pattern, and the body part is navy blue. It looks designed and manufactured in 1972. To me, it is SUPER cute. Very Charlie's Angels.

I put it on and stood in front of the mirror admiring the spectacle. My belly is so big, it is pulling down the suit making my boobs granny like. My thighs are pale and have stretch marks. My tattoo on my left lower hip is sticking out, stretched out like a cruel reminder of my tan triathlon days. I have a farmers tan where my arms look split in two, the lower part dipped in red paint and then sawed together with the upper part again. It really doesn't even look like my body anymore - it just looks like my head is photo shopped on something alien and strange.

I walked into my husbands bathroom where he was standing shaving and putting on his SPF. He gave me a long look up and down. Then he said something I will never, ever forget - with a straight face and dead serious:

"If you weren't pregnant, you'd be Benny Hill"

23 weeks

Yeah!

Went for the monthly check up yesterday at my OB's. I am now 20 pounds plus (8.3 kilos) with 15 weeks to go. The baby is one pound and 15 inches long.

I love the term"You are eating for two". True - it's just that one of us is really little.